Unveiling Our Inner Perception: Discovering True Love

Dr. Jane Fresne, DN

Love, often touted as the universal solution, remains a subjective concept, uniquely

interpreted by each individual. Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" — Words of affirmation, Quality time, Physical touch, Acts of service, and Receiving gifts — serves as a valuable tool to decipher how our expressions and perceptions of love differ. Engaging with this framework not only unveils the manifestations of our own love languages but also heightens awareness of others' distinct needs, which may deviate from our preconceived notions of giving and receiving love. Through introspective endeavors, I consistently recognize that the imprints of my childhood significantly influence my adult experiences of love.

In childhood, our brains undergo developmental stages, each presenting opportune moments for specific areas of growth. The family dynamics during these formative stages contribute to the establishment of beliefs and paradigms concerning love. If our parents lacked a communication style characterized by non-blaming and non-judgmental tones, we may internalize these patterns as expressions of love. Consequently, our unconscious voices may echo love in blaming and judgmental tones, shaping our choices and thoughts.

This ingrained pattern becomes a subtle force guiding our actions and reactions, often underlying conflicts related to the desire to be heard, understood, and valued. The familiarity of these recurrent scenarios may draw us towards situations that mirror our remembered concept of "love." Consequently, when confronted with alternative expressions of receptivity, vulnerability, acceptance, and kindness, it may not register as love at all. Rewiring these neural pathways requires time to downregulate receptors associated with the old communication patterns and upregulate receptors that reinforce the new experiences of love.

In the process of shifting my perspective on what constitutes love, self-affirmation plays a crucial role. Acknowledging that the evolving experience is, indeed, an expression of love aids in navigating this transformative journey. When engaging in a new dance of love with family members, initiating understanding conversations with affirmations of love becomes a powerful strategy. Resources like "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix and "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg provide tools for fostering conscious choices in this regard.

Addressing the imprints of childhood may require exploration beyond conscious thought. Techniques such as hypnosis, energy healing, neurofeedback, voice frequency reframing, holotropic breathwork, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), sound frequency, and "Shake it Off Naturally" by Dr. David Beceli offer avenues for transformative healing of paradigms that developed during these critical developmental windows.

Wishing you abundant blessings on your journey toward love, health, and wholeness.